Edge of fierceness
It wasn’t really a word in my vocabulary. Unless I was imitating Tyra describing the girls on America’s Next Top Model, “fierce” didn’t often pass through my lips.
Fierce described women who were crushing it - starting businesses, walking the runway, defending their beliefs on Capitol Hill, speaking up in boardrooms…those women were fierce. That wasn’t me.
People probably thought I was fierce. I wouldn’t have believed them.
BUT WHY?!
Last year I went on a personal deep-dive to claw myself out of a rut and into the person I know I could be. It was a challenging knot to unravel, but on the other side I saw a glimmer of fierceness. I wanted to capture that glimmer.
Here’s what I unraveled…
It was common for me to settle for crumbs and call it a whole meal. Because I didn’t fully believe I deserved more - in relationships, pursuing my dream career, etc - I kept myself small. I embraced the minimum and rationalized it as good enough. I told myself “it could be worse,” and I should just be grateful.
I was sick of it. Whenever I felt the urge to rationalize, I asked myself, “What is this costing me?” Turns out, it was costing me happiness, freedom, joy and expansion. The only person who could change things was me. Ugh, this would be hard.
Here’s the secret. It didn’t really feel hard. It felt necessary. It felt freeing. (And yes, it occasionally felt awful.) Now that I’m on the other side of it, people tell me, “You did the hard work! You’re the one who got yourself here!”
When the work is necessary, you simply find a way to do it.
Toward the end of last year, a woman referred to me as “on the edge of fierceness.” It was one of the best compliments I’ve ever received. Here’s why…
I worked for months to get out of my rut. The product of that tireless work was me standing tall, declaring what I deserve, fearlessly asking for what I need and being an authentic version of myself. That is my definition of fierce.
The fact that she noticed it meant my work paid off and I was truly living into my definition. Had she not pointed it out, I may not have recognized my growth and stepped over the edge to live a fully fierce life.
Moral of the story: If you notice something wonderful in someone, let them know. It may be the first time they’ve heard or considered it. It may be an absolute game changer.
Fierceness In Action!
When I think of fierce things, I think of tigers. Tigers use their TAIL (it’s a lil’ acronym)
What is your definition of fierce? When does it show up? How does it feel?
Get intentional about it! Ask yourself, “When I’m living into my fierceness, how do I…”
THINK - What thoughts or stories do you tell yourself? How would you describe yourself? What affirmations run through your head?
ACT - What actions or behaviors demonstrate your fierceness? In what ways might you be a role model? What actions are the opposite of fierce?
INSPIRE - When you’re acting this way, how do you imagine it inspires others? What gifts are you putting into the world?
LOVE/LEAD - (pick an L that feels most relevant…or both!)
- When you’re a fierce version of yourself, how are you loving others? How would you describe your relationships with other people and with yourself?
- When you’re thinking, acting and inspiring people from a place of fierceness, what looks unique about your leadership? What tone and expectations are you setting for the people around you?
