Carrying heavy LBs
Successful leaders wear suits. Obviously.
Somewhere along the way, this belief lodged itself in my brain. I never questioned it. People in my life and on TV regularly reinforced it. So, it makes sense when I assumed an executive leadership position, I headed to the mall to buy new suits.
This is how limiting beliefs work.
Limiting beliefs are stories that often stem from lifelong messages received from our families, culture, media, workplaces, etc., about “acceptable” ways of being and acting. We take them at face value and they grow roots. Before we know it, they’re our truth. We barely question them. Hence, the shopping spree when the title of “president” got slapped next to my name.
I’m sure the world has planted some seeds in you, too. Like, eating dessert should make you feel guilty. Or, it’s not ok to spend money on yourself. Or “happily ever after” exists for everyone. <Insert your fave here>
I call limiting beliefs, “LBs,” because they’re heavy to carry around. (Lbs = pounds…get it?) Whether or not you realize, they’re adding weight to your life and pulling you down.
How do you know when an LB is weighing you down?
For me, it pops up when I’m on a path to do something exciting, brave or new (like relationships, adventures, important conversations, professional moves). I’ll simply be walking down the street feeling inspired to show up in an authentically “me” way, and BAM I’m stopped in my tracks by a bossy crossing guard blowing a loud whistle in my face.
The crossing guard is a limiting belief saying, “Wait - what makes you think you can cross the street with so much confidence?” All that courage and excitement I felt instantly drains from my body.
That deflating feeling that makes you question yourself? That’s your cue! Put a name to what’s stopping you in your tracks. Where the heck did you learn that? How true is it? What kind of magic is it keeping you from creating?
Like a crossing guard, a limiting belief wants to keep you safe…but YOU actually get to write the rules.
Fun fact: It’s been seven years since my shopping spree, and one of those suits is still in my closet with the tags on it. Wearing a suit makes me feel inauthentic and uncomfortable. I don’t feel like myself, and how I show up reflects this. Although I never wore that suit, I still managed to be a pretty successful leader. I busted my LB and wrote a new rule. If you’re interested in a suit, give me a call.
My suit is one tiny example of how a belief about leadership kept me from being an authentic leader. I’ve got a bunch more. But now it’s your turn…
Think about a topic that’s taking up space in your brain right now (leadership, relationships, success, money, etc.). Make a list of all the things you think are true about it. Don’t overthink it.
Where did you learn those beliefs? How true are they, really?
In what ways are those LBs keeping you from being the person you want? How are they weighing you down?
