Do you, little mama
I saw “Elvis” for the second time this weekend. People have a love/hate relationship with this movie, but I’m on the love side. Sure, there are inaccuracies and dramatizations, but that’s why I’m going to a movie and not reading a dumb biography.
What I loved even more than watching Austin Butler sing and wiggle, was the film’s message to listen to the deep-down voice inside telling you to “do you.”
There’s a point where Elvis is on his bus, exhausted from being a Hollywood star, watching Martin Luther King’s funeral on TV and feeling disconnected from his roots. The gospel singer on TV reminded him where he came from and what fueled him. He decided to return “home” and perform music that made him happy.
Maybe you’ve had an experience like this.
A moment in your life where you say, “Wait…things don’t feel right. What am I doing? How did I get here?”
Sometimes this moment arrives as a fleeting sense of clarity and disappears just as quickly. Or it appears after a long, exhausting slog and refuses to leave.
Sometimes we brush it off, thinking we’re being overly sensitive. Other times it’s a seed that won’t stop growing roots.
I’ve experienced all the above at different points in life - when faced with motherhood and infertility, leaving a comfortable career and choosing a new path, reckoning with feelings around ending my marriage, deciding how vulnerable to be in my writing. Moments like these show up often. And I’m glad each time they do.
These moments are messengers.
They arrive when you’re getting closer to your authentic self and feeling afraid of what you might uncover. It might seem easier to avoid them, but in my experience, they simply come back stronger.
Elvis could have decided to stay the course with his movie career, wear the Christmas sweater and sell sponsored appliances. He would have made a lot of people happy. But he would have been miserable, and maybe never created the next things he created.
Ok yes, this is a pretty non-relatable example, but I’m certain you have moments when you’re faced with either pleasing other people or choosing something that feels more authentic to yourself.
What does “going home” look like?
For most of our lives, we’ve been conditioned to achieve cool things and receive subsequent praise and validation. In this cycle, it’s easy to forget what really matters and what we really want. Before you know it, you’re addicted to looking impressive and completely disconnected with what actually sets your soul on fire.
Learning to tune into the internal GPS of your values will help you when those messengers arrive. They may not give you all the answers, but they’ll point you home.
Here are some questions to ask when you’re having a “Wait…things don’t feel right” moment.
What specifically doesn’t feel right? What value is being challenged?
Where is the struggle coming from? Do you want this or does someone else want it for you? Who are you afraid of disappointing?
What scares you about living in a different way? What scares you about staying the same?
If you could choose a next step for yourself, regardless of how scary or risky it is, what would it be?
