Friendversary
Previously published on The Heat Index blog
It’s a routine occurrence for me to be in conversations with friends who bring up old stories and try to remember when they happened. I’m the one who says, “It was August 2013. It was a Thursday. I was wearing my flowered dress. It rained the next day.”
While my ability to recall specific dates and inconsequential details is a source of frequent ribbing, I like to think it’s a superpower. Because I’m able to remember dates and details, I keep a special calendar highlighting the big and little moments from my friendships.
For instance, why should you exclusively reserve anniversaries as romantic celebrations with your partner when you can celebrate, “Annual Chili Dog Eating Day” to commemorate the time you and a pal enjoyed bar food on a cold December Saturday?
In my calendar you’ll also find, “Cribbage-versary” to celebrate the day I taught my man to play my (now our) favorite card game. Plus, “Sunny-D Day” when my sister accidentally selected the orange beverage from a vending machine not one but TWO times in a row, resulting in a laughing fit that made people stop and stare. But my favorite calendar dates are “Friendversaries,” recognizing the day I met people who have become my best friends.
The unparalleled power of friendships
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate how rare and special my friendships are. We all have competing demands on our time, and it’s easy to bump friends toward the bottom of the priority list. It’s not intentional, it’s just easy to lose touch for a few days or even a few months. The people we actively choose to make time for, even amidst the craziness of our lives, are people to celebrate.
My bestie and I recently had our annual Friendversary breakfast and talked about this tradition. We agreed the dynamics we share are unlike those in our other friendships, and it’s important to dedicate time to check in and remind each other of that.
Plus, taking time to reflect upon the past year allows us to see how much we’ve both grown. Having a friend to co-create life with is like having a mirror reflecting back the things we might not see in ourselves.
We agreed being vulnerable with our closest friends is good practice for being vulnerable in other areas of our lives.
When we take time each year to recognize everything we’ve gone through – both together and separately – we realize our abundance and how we’re forever shaped by our most special friends.
Whether it’s a goofy afternoon of eating heartburn-inducing bar food with your bro, or enjoying coffee and being moved to tears by the sweet words of your lady soulmate, I encourage you to create a new holiday to honor your most special friendships.
Here are some Friendversary planning tips to get you started:
Get with your friend and figure out when you met. Where were you? What were the circumstances? Even if you can’t recall the exact day, choose a date that feels right and create a recurring calendar event to share with your pal.
Schedule a Friendversary date! It can be as simple as going for a walk, scheduling a phone call or grabbing a drink. Consider something that holds special meaning for you.
Reflect on your friendship by asking each other the following questions:
What makes our friendship different from the other friendships we have in our lives? What unique strengths do we lend each other?
Which actors would play us in the movie of our lives? Which scene would be the most fun for them to act out?
In what way have you seen me grow the most in the past year? What is one thing you wish most for me in the year ahead?
