Role models all around
We put a lot of emphasis on ensuring kids having role models. Parents work hard to demonstrate behaviors, and schools highlight inspiring figures. I get it! It makes sense!
Listen, I’m all about young people having role models, but it feels like we’ve been conditioned to believe by the time you become an adult, the need for role models fades away. Like you’re fully stocked up on confidence and inspiration, and are now totally prepared to create your life.
When we’re young, we’re told we can grow up to be whatever we want, but along the way, we gather little rules and insecurities that impose boundaries on us. Before we know it, being “whatever we want” comes with a list of considerations our child-sized brain couldn’t fathom.
Honestly, the time I needed role models the most is when I became an adult. I turned 30 and frantically looked around for someone to show me I was ok and doing the right things.
It turns out what I actually needed was someone to show me there’s no such thing as “the right things.”
Yes, it’s great for kids to see that anything is possible. But what about when you’re 35 and are like, “What the actual fuck is my life?,” you don’t need a female astronaut telling you how you can be anything you put your mind to. You need someone who’s like, “Yup. This weird life sucks sometimes, and no one actually knows what they’re doing. Welcome!”
It’s important to see people who’ve gone through it and paved their own way. It makes us feel less alone when we see people normalizing the stuff we’re afraid to talk about, or afraid to admit we want.
Many people I consider role models probably have zero clue they made an impact on me.
They’ve said things in passing that have shifted my limiting beliefs. They’ve inspired me by showing up in courageous ways they probably would never personally deem courageous. They made me feel seen when I felt alone.
And that’s the thing. We’re all role models without realizing it.
Simply being yourself, sharing mistakes and being unafraid to follow your path is helping people around you feel less “WTAF” about their life. Even - and maybe especially - when you’re feeling “WTAF” about your own.
A few role modely things to think about…
Who is someone you’d consider a role model? In what ways have they inspired you?
What’s one of the most challenging situations you’ve gone through? What kind of role model did you need most during that time? How can you be that for someone else?
What trait do you admire most in others? Why? In what ways do you exhibit that trait? What’s getting in your way from embodying that trait?
