Something bigger, something more
Around eight years ago, I was sitting cross-legged on the floor of my therapist’s office. We always sat together on the tatami floor for our sessions, tea cups warming our always-cold hands.
I’d been plagued by a restless feeling, unsure if it was the chronic high expectations I placed on myself, job dissatisfaction, an undiagnosed anxiety disorder or simply being in my transitional 30s. Maybe all the above.
I remember saying, “I feel like I’m destined for something bigger, something more. I can’t shake it.”
Her response was, “You put a lot of pressure on yourself.”
If you know me, you know this was the understatement of the century. As much as I appreciated her attempt to reframe my restlessness, I knew in my gut it wasn’t simply a symptom of being an overachiever.
It was bigger. Looking back, it was the light rain shower that would eventually swirl into a spiritual tropical storm.
The feeling of being on the verge of something bigger, on the edge of fierceness, brimming with potential you can’t quite identify…it becomes impossible to ignore.
Same girl, same!
Maybe you’ve never felt this way - that’s ok! Actually, that’s great! But if this is resonating and you know this itchy feeling, I see you.
We don’t openly talk about it. We don’t have casual conversations about the massive potential we sense in ourselves. It feels awkward to admit it out loud. Maybe even ungrateful or boastful.
So, we keep it a secret. We scribble it in private notebooks. We hold it close to our vest. We figure it’s just a mood that will eventually pass.
I believe this stirring, itchy feeling is actually your purpose trying to claw its way out of you and declare itself to the world.
Purpose? Yikes!
“Purpose” can feel like a giant, definitive word. It might even feel a little woo-woo.
I define purpose as the thing you love doing and can do better than most people you know. And by effortlessly doing that thing, you’re making the world better…usually without realizing it.
We all have a purpose. Some of us have an easy time identifying it. Some of us are like, “Meh…I don’t care much about purpose.” And some of us feel like we’re having an identity crisis when it claws itself to the surface.
If you’re someone who feels on the verge of something or destined for something bigger, you’re not making it up. You’re not being an overachiever. You’re deeply listening to yourself and you deserve to feel heard. What you’re feeling is real!
If this feels relevant…let’s talk. Even if you don’t know what that thing is. Especially if you don’t know what that thing is.
Questions to get your purpose swirling…
If you won the lottery and could spend your time doing exclusively what you love, what would you do? Where would you be? (And what - if anything - is getting in your way of doing those things right now?)
Think of a time when ideas or solutions effortlessly flew out of you. What were you doing? What was the context?
What would people close to you say your greatest gift is? (Ask them!)
In what way(s) do you make the world a better place? (Ask those same peeps if you’re unsure!)
